My anxiety puts my mind into complete overdrive. I think things over in my head 100 times over. I always come up with alternative scenarios. What ifs. I hate that.

I think everyone does it. But I definitely do it to the extreme.

I do it all day everyday. Overthinking.

I haven’t seen any friends in weeks. I’m seeing some tomorrow for the first time in a month. In my head I am trying to mentally prepare for situations which may not even occur. I’m not too worried about seeing the two friends I’m seeing tomorrow.

Friday I’m going to a party. All my friends will be there. The friends I was with when I had a huge panic attack a month ago. I am completely freaking out. I do not want to go. There is absolutely no way I can pull out. I have  no legitimate excuse. If i do they will be angry at me. I think they will anyway. That’s what my head is saying. They might be a bit annoyed I’ve flaked out but they probably won’t be angry. But I’ve already told myself they will be. So it’s in my head now.

That’s how my brain works.

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